I chose the video because I saw very interesting
I found it on YouTube when I was searching the Internet
This is the famous video for the title 'David after visiting the dentist'
It is about a kid who had visited a dentist. 104,589,540 people watched it, and they
made a lot of money.
This is the whole story about the video.
In May 2008,7-year old David DeVore Jr. was taken to the dentist to have an extra tooth remove. However her mother didn't want to make her son surgery, so his father decided
to video tape the experience to share with her and their family. After surgery David was feeling confused from the anesthesia. While in a car, his father asked some questions to him like Is this real life?" and "Is this going to be forever?" and also telling him that he had four fingers. At one point he even attempted to push himself up from his seat and released a scream before sinking back in exhaustion. Seven months later, his father uploaded it on Facebook. After then it spread rapidly. Now It is famous all over the world.
After the video was taped, his family made a lot of money, and his family made David dentist T-shirts. His father would not say exactly how much the family has earned from the video but said it's in the low six figures.
Also, the video made many parody
This is pretty good! I like that video. I notice you have the spoof but don't have the actual video in the post. Make sure you include the real David After The Dentist video in the post, as readers want to see the original. You can keep the spoof, but put the actual video first.
ReplyDeleteYou can also clean up some simple mistakes. First, you spell "video" wrong in the title, and you often forget capital letters and periods at the end of a sentence. Try to make sure you eliminate these simple mistakes.
Also, I'd like you to make your paragraphs look tidy. One sentence should follow another without starting on a new line by itself.
All in all, good work. Just try to re-read your work to get rid of small errors.