Hello, pencil. My name is Yun-Aram who is your owner.
You are my vital victim, and friend.
You are very kind,fine, and shine friend in my mind.
Your kindness is very terrific.
When I hold your hands, and make a letter with you, then you sacrificed for me.
When I hold your hands, and I twirling with you, you bear with feeling dizzy for me.
When my dog bite you, and your body is crushed, you always wear a smile.
Also whenever I lose you, you never get angry, even I use a mechanical pencil instead of you, you always smile.
However, sometimes you make me disappointed.
You are so weak. It means when you break easily, I'm very sad with you.
Also you are an annoying friend. Your hair is blunt, I have to cut your hair with pencil sharper to use you. Then I feel bothering
However,If I have no pencil, I can't write anything
When I solve a math question, make a letter, even twirling, I always need you. Thanks for your sacrifice.
Your usage of repetition is impressive. You also tried to make your ode more song-like. Good work! There are some awkward expressions or grammatical errors, but it’s more important that you tried to use repetition or include rhyme while moving your ideas into writing!
ReplyDelete*Also whenever I lose you, you ~ you always smile. -> Whenever I lose you, you never get angry. Even when I use a mechanical pencil instead of you, you always smile.
I agree with DJ. Nice work here. A picture of a pencil or two would help the reader feel the power of the poetry. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteIt's great! You may seem to grow up rapidly. from ok
ReplyDelete